Anti-War movement decries the failure of Allies to Shown German Weapons of Mass Destruction
Warning: satire

After hearing an advertisement on the radio for the CBS Premier of “Hitler: The Rise of Evil,” I was struck by the similarities in rhetoric between America 2003 and America 1941. Deciding to investigate the matter further, I stumbled across thess two articles. (I know it's a bit late now, I wrote this back in May, but the essence of the public debate over Iraq hasn't changed much)


The Many Facets of the Anti-War Movement

Los Angeles, CA – Anti-War demonstrators are up in arms over the perceived march to war by the Roosevelt administration. “The administration has beat its drums of war ever since the December 7th attacks, with no respect for the international community or the German people,” explained one student activist leader.

Many people around the country, and the world, are disturbed by President Roosevelt’s proclamation of an “Axis-of-Evil” consisting of Germany, Japan, and Italy. “We shouldn’t just lump countries together and say they’re evil. That only makes enemies and pushes those others away from a peaceful settlement of conflicts,” added John Marshall, a senior member of the anti-war organizer A.N.S.S.E.R (Act Now to Support Stalinism and End the Republic). “Besides, he’s just standing up to American and British hegemony, and I like that.”

Echoing a common sentiment, protestors at the federal building shouted “No Blood for Coal,” a reference to the fact that Germany has huge coal deposits. Since the American economy is largely dependent on coal for its domestic energy needs, some argue that this is simply an imperialist war to gain exclusive control of these reserves.

In defense of the administration’s actions, Secretary of War Henry Stimson “In all honesty, Hitler declared war on us first, we’re just responding. After the December 7th attacks, he showed video of them non-stop on German television to a soundtrack of ‘The Reich is Great.’ Moreover, we have reason to believe that Germany is developing weapons of mass destruction that would cause global imbalance and lead Hitler to be able to easily dominate the European continent. Hitler has been rearming for close to a decade in violation of the Treaty of Versailles and several League of Nations resolutions, and he has aggressively invaded neighboring countries. But even if all that weren’t true, we would still have a moral obligation to enact regime change from fascism to democracy, and stop the atrocities being committed against the Jewish people within Hitler’s borders.”

Noted anti-war intellectual Norm Chomski responded handily to what he calls “the false imperialist pretenses” of the Roosevelt administration. “There is clearly no connection between the attacks of December 7th and Hitler, even the CIA has failed to fabricate any. Germany’s weapons of mass destruction don’t exist, and even if they did, so what? A sovereign nation has the right to defend itself. The Treaty of Versailles and the League of Nations resolutions were documents meant to specifically harm the German people, and were immoral. Hitler’s ‘wars of aggression’ pale in comparison to the many wars the United States has fought, and unlike the U.S. or Britain, Germany has never had an empire to speak of. The democracy argument is a farce. Germany has a self-determined government. Look at the domestic legislation that has been enacted since December 7th, any objective observer can see we’re the real fascists! Lastly, what is this sudden gush of ‘compassion’ coming from the Roosevelt administration? Where was the U.S. in 1938 during Kristallnacht? If they didn’t care then, I don’t see why they care now.”

Some in the Pro-War camp have labeled the Anti-War movement as anti-Semitic. They point to claims that the Roosevelt administration is full of high-placed Jewish intellectuals, such as Henry Morgenthau, the Secretary of the Treasury, or Samuel Rosenman, Roosevelt’s official speechwriter. The Anti-War movement also seems to be inextricably linked to the pro-Palestinian movement. This faction decries the “Zionist-occupation” of part of the British Mandate referred to as Palestine. They want the U.S. to focus on the real problem of the Arab-Jewish conflict, and not some fictitious rhetoric of an “Axis-of-Evil.”

“The Europeans have devised a ‘roadmap,’ and the U.S. should be a part of it. In order to stop the tension, Britain has decided to halt Jewish immigration, sending any ships back to their countries of origin, where they will be given employment at ‘work-camps.’ Germany and France both agree that the solution to the problem is less Jews. Russia has always known this. Now why won’t the U.S. support the ‘roadmap?’ Don’t they care about peace?” asks Enrique Salvador, a Spanish shopkeeper. “The first step is to stop the Jewish settlements like Tel Aviv and Haifa.”

Some noted celebrities, like famous aviator Charles Lindbergh, have spoken out against this war. “What I fear most is the resort to unilateralism. I mean, when you look at who’s fighting, it’s the United States and the United Kingdom. That’s it. Where’s the rest of the world? Not even France is with us on this one,” related the American hero.

Issuing a statement from the newly relocated capital of Vichy, the French government condemned any American intervention because of the collateral damage that would occur. “We didn’t give up Paris to the Nazis to see it blown to pieces. An American naval landing could cause millions of dollars in damages to French property and cause the deaths of hundreds of thousands of French citizens,” exclaimed the Foreign Minister in a press conference on Tuesday.

Others in the Anti-War camp have focused their criticism on the domestic ramifications of the war. “Look at the state of our economy,” related Sarah Hampton, a union negotiator. “We’re forced to ration! How can the president be given any respect when he can’t even bring us out of this depression we’ve been in for over a decade. How dare he ask us to make sacrifices so we might ‘help’ out people in foreign countries? I don’t care about what happens in other countries, I only care that I have a living-wage job.” Law student Michael Hendrickson pointed out the infringement on civil liberties. “What is this about ‘War Crimes Tribunals?’ Everyone should have a trial out in the open, with 12 jurors. I don’t care if they are foreign citizens who tried to kill American civilians and want a government without a Bill of Rights. We should bring them back over here and give them all the amenities of our Constitution, even if it is at taxpayers expense.”

The Anti-War movement shows no signs of letting up. Many organizers boast that this is the fastest mobilization of protests in history. It has happened even before any troops have been committed. As John Marshall notes, “public sentiment will turn against the president much faster when Americans start dying and we have to institute a draft.”



War Criticized as a Failure

Washington, D.C. – The war with Germany officially ended a week ago, but already critics are calling it a failure. “It was the Japanese who bombed Pearl Harbor on December 7th, not the Germans. This whole war was a huge distraction from the war on the Japanese. Great, now we have finished this and wasted lives, dollars, and equipment, but the Japanese are still as dug in as ever. Why? Just so we could claim some coal and do an imperialist ‘regime change’ to have one more puppet. The people of Germany are living on less than 1,000 calories a day, and crime is on the rise. Where is all the aid we promised when the war was over? Even if Hitler was a bad guy, at least he had police and kept order,” related California representative Nanci Peloso.

Military officials defended the administration by saying that the war was a necessary step to destroy the “Axis Powers.” In response to criticisms of the war’s slow pace, they spoke of the fierce determination of some of the Emperor’s supporters. Many in the pro-War camp have decried the use of Japanese Air Force suicide bombers and wondered how we could stop such an enemy. Human Rights groups replied by pointing out that Japan was essentially decimated by Western Imperialism, and that with their inferior technology the only way of fighting back was to use themselves to blow up their enemies.
posted by Owen at 7/22/2003 05:27:00 PM

 
Character Assassination

I'm not sure how people are feeling out there, but my gut reaction tells me the woman is right, and Kobe forced himself on her. I really can't say why I've come to this opinion, but I find it hard to believe a man who three weeks ago told me nothing happened, and now admits to "consentual sex." If he lied then, why should I believe he's telling the truth now? Furthermore, H.L. Menken offers a slight variation on that theme, "It is hard to believe that a man is telling the truth when you know that you would lie if you were in his place."

What really infuriates me is how he might get off based on a "dark secret" about his accuser. A few months before the incident, she overdosed on some sort of pills. Some of her friends think it was an accident, and others think it was intentional. Apparently she had been going through some horrible things at the time, her high school sweetheart cheated on her while she was away at school and a good friend died. So whatever, it in no way means that she gave consent the night in question.

If anything, in her "emotional anguish," it would have been easier for Kobe to take advantage of her, requiring a lesser amount of force than normal to overcome her weakened willpower. Kobe messed up big, and he's going to have to pay for it. I hope that this piece of irrelevant info doesn't influence people's decisions against her.

In short, even if he didn't rape her, he's in a situation now where it's very hard to believe anything Kobe says. And that is squarely his fault. She offered, but he accepted. It's his responsability alone. Some might say she shares part of the blame because she's a "tramp, slut, skank, etc.," but the blame is all on Kobe. Whatever happened, he knew the possible consequences, and he did it anyways. One more vicitm of our "responsability-disinclined" culture.
posted by Owen at 7/21/2003 06:38:00 PM